Mel Gibson - That Anti-Semetic F*ck

Fuck you Mel Gibson, you fucking fuck. After "The Passion of the Christ" all the rumors came out about him being anti-semetic, but it was all just speculation. I figured it was easy-pickens for Letterman and Leno, and it was all a joke. But this week we found out, like father like son. He hates Jews just like his Jew-hating father, and it just took a little alcohol to drag it out of him. For those who don't know, he got pulled over for a DWI this week, and asked the cop "if he was a fuckin jew" and said that "jews are responsible for all the war in the world today." He already has his team of publicists down-playing it, and actually had jewish people come out and say how he saved their lives at his rehab center. Howard Stern followed up that comment perfectly by saying, "yea, because there are a lot of jews that are heroin addicts." Mel Gibson is a fuckface, fuck you Mel. I apologize for the language, but Mel brings out the non-christian in me.
-AS

College Tips - Tip #1 - Textbooks are for Suckers

Every semester, the majority of your professors will assign you a couple of books to buy, for hundreds of dollars. The worst of the all is the textbook. There is enough knowledge in this book for years, yet you're expected to absorb this in a semester. Textbooks are for suckers for several reasons. First of all, they are a minimum of $80, and you can only sell it back for $40 tops. If you know you're not going to use it, don't buy it. That $80 is 4 nights of chaos out on the town. Secondly, most professors teach right out of the book, so just go to class and take notes. The exception to the rule is if the professor is a jerkoff, and specifically states that material from the book will not be covered in class. Then, you almost have no choice but to buy it. If you're really gangster, you still don't buy it, and just guess on those questions that come up from the book. Either way, if you do bitch out and buy the book, do not by any means do anything crazy, like read entire chapters. Anything you need to know is covered in the chapter summary, which is available at the end of each chapter. If you really want to go absolutely insane, you can read all the words in bold print, but come on, that's pushing it. Do you want to read 90 assigned pages, 3 nights a week? I didn't think so. More tips coming soon, don't leave for school without them!
-AS

Not So Harmless After All

This one is an anti-marijuana commercial, that shows you the dangers of smoking weed. It's short and to the point, and the knife in the ass is priceless...Of course a big hit on youtube. Any bit that warrants little to no writing is always tops on these sites. But I'm just happy to get views, so I could care less what it's for!

-AS

Whatthefxup?

These truth commercials really bother me. I smoke, and I know it's terrible. Tell me how I'm supposed to quit. Cigarettes are bad...we know. So give us a freakin legitimate way to stop smoking, and end the nonsense. The thing that really bothers me about these stupid commercials, is that they are the only entity on television that speaks of smoking. I could be watching tv for hours, and that helps me not think about smoking, but that truth commercial is always there to put the idea back in your head. Yo top it off, the tobacco companies fund them! It's a huge conspiracy if you ask me. Either way, I have to figure out a way to relieve stress without smoking, so I'm just going to start going around punching people in their faces or maybe I'll just start smoking crack. It's gotta be healthier than cigarettes.
-AS

Actual Radio Commercial

....BEFORE..........................AFTER
Plastic surgery really does work, just look at the before and after pictures in this post, and you'll see it works wonders! All joking aside, I was listening to the radio, and heard a strange commercial for a Plastic Surgeon. It started out like a normal ad, they gave all their info, and they end it with one of the catchyest catch phrases I've ever heard..."You can't choose the family you come from, but luckily you can choose to not look like them." Now that's some sales pitch. You can choose to not look like your family? That's not right. Botox makes you look worse...You can't move your freakin face! The only exceptions I'm willing to make are, for those hideously deformed people that really need it, and for nose jobs for Jewish Girls from Long Island. I'm a jew, and let's face it, we're not exactly known for having nice noses. I got content for days, and I have some great contributers coming soon!
-AS

Great Review for Toh

Yet another great review for my boy Peter Toh. The following excerpt was taken from Breakthru Radio..."Let’s hear it for the first guy in a long time to bring some originality to the singer/songwriter genre. Peter Toh is equal parts hipster, pop singer, club kid, and bedroom electronica producer, and he brings all of these elements into his music. The songs on this EP pulse with a kind of stilted funk reminiscent of early 80s dance tracks. Keyboards shiver in and out of the mix like something from chill-out room at an early morning rave, and somehow the whole thing gets put into a conventional rock song format. Over it all Toh sings with a voice that is somewhere between James Blunt and Peter Gabriel. You’ve got to respect somebody who can cover this much territory and keep it all on the same page." The revolution has begun...don't wait until he blows up, find out all about Peter Toh now, RIGHT HERE! A special thanks to the guys at Breakthru Radio! Check them out for the best spot to hear independent music for free!
-AS

Proms Cancelled for Drinking

This past school year, there seemed to be a new trend of canceling high school proms, as a precautionary measure. No one did anything wrong, but due to the stigma that goes along with "The Prom," schools decided that a couple bad seeds contaminated the whole crop. Not the case. I'd say that the majority of people at these proms are cornchuckers, and aren't going to drink or do drugs afterward. We really have to worry about the cool kids, they're the ones having all the fun in this weekend of debauchery. But it's not until after the prom that all of this starts. Kids rent houses on the beach, and have a good time, and of course there will always be a few that get out of hand. These are the same idiots that get out of hand wherever you take them. So the school boards cancel the proms. They say their reason is for the drinking that traditionally goes on, and for the excessive amount of money spent. Maybe they should cancel weekends too while they are at it. So the heads of those schools thought they were doing something great, and thought that they were protecting their students. In actuality though, all this meant was that instead of some girl losing her virginity under the stars on a beach in a beautiful setting, she instead lost it in the back of Joey's Honda Civic in a parking lot. Great Choice Authority!
-AS

College Tips

I feel like I did something great, and I don't mean graduating college. I'm actually referring to HOW I graduated college. I did not open a book, I did not pay attention in class, I did not even study. So I graduated with a 2.4, which sounds like a real shitty gpa, but if you take into consideration the lack of work, I deserve around a 3.4, maybe even higher. So basically, this "college tips" segment will be posted regularly to share my secrets with the world, and help kids get through 4 years of school without doing anything productive. Your nights are going to be filled up, so you're going to want that extra time during the day to play video games, and watch TV, and I'm here to show you how to get it. Stay tuned for the first actual college tip later today or tomorrow. You can't leave for school without them!
-AS

Sinfomercial

This next one is a fake infomercial for "The Breadman" This was done around 5 years ago, and I feel as if this was one of the first funny bits I ever did. My film and editing skills weren't quite like they are now, but what can I do about that? I refuse to digitally remaster any of these, or redo them, I want to keep them rough, rugged, and raw. Although, if some one would like to give me a high-def camera for free, then I can see myself redoing everything. Until then, ignore the production quality, and once again focus on the premise. If that's too much for you, I'd like to quote the great Artie Lange and say, "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

-AS

AshRadio Podcast

This week's podcast on AshRadio is featuring "Shoes of a Beast" by Peter Toh. Be sure to vote for Peter for next week's podcast here.
-AS

1-800-NO-SEX

This is yet another ridiculous video from the Adam Schleichkorn collection. I felt like I had to post this, because somehow it has 112,888 plays (and counting) on stupidvideos.com. If you take a look at the comments on that page, not too many people really cared for it, or understood it, yet they can't stop watching it. I just love how it takes place in a garage. You can't get any more "no budget" than that. Now that is boot-legged, but you gotta love it.
I had to post the youtube version, because the stupidvideos player was having problems. I have to shout them out though, so go directly to this video at http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/commercials/1800NOSEX/
-AS

The Real World...Block Island

This bit wasn't even close to complete, so I had to improvise and use what I had. There was some gold written for this one, that was never filmed due to using friends as actors. It still turned out pretty good I think, but I'll let you be the judge. The poor acting and production once again make it crappier than it should be, but take it for what it is, you freakin cornhuskers.

Hopefully this one offended as many people as possible, I needed to stir up some sort of controversy. Like a Boss suckas.
-AS

For Those Who Don't Believe The Hype

These pictures were taken by our friend Dan (who is an amazing photographer) at the 1st Annual Mckibbin Loft Party hosted by Hidden Track Music Group. Peter Toh and The Royal Tease packed out their loft apartment in Brooklyn on July 8th, and rocked the house! The place was packed out with heads all the way into the hallway, and since it was 150 degrees in there, the roof was packed too. For those of you who missed out, don't worry, there will be another one on August 19th. The guys will once again clear everything out, and open up their home to throw the best free show in New York City!

-AS

Yo Momma

The worst show in television history. Wilmer Valderrama doesn't deserve a show. I'm funnier than Wilmer, and I'm really not that funny at all. I'll give him $1000 CASH MONEY to stop making this crappy show.
-AS

Hey, Why Not

This one, I had to take back to the classics. I made this one about 5 years ago, and although it's very stupid, I think it's hysterical. The whole premise was to have series of fake ads for an upcoming mayorial election, but we were only able to cut a few. This one was one of the only good ones, and I really feel that if this bit had quality production, and acting, it's ready for The Chappelle's Show. Ok, that's probably a little far-fetched, but it's at least worthy of a Saturday Night Live Bit. Looking back to the great casts, and writers that SNL had from the 80's, up until around the end of Will Ferrell's regime (and that's being very generous), it's amazing to me that it has become what it is today. Ok, enough SNL bashing, it just bothers me, because it was once one of my favorite show, so I'm bitter I guess. Anyway, here's "Muchnik for Mayor"...

-AS

Casey Cheffo

Several weeks ago she became the first person in the history of the world to accomplish the ultimate music experience. Casey Cheffo attended a Bluegrass Show and a Heavy Metal Show in the same day, at two different venues, exploring two genres that couldn't possibly be further apart. Congratulations...I guess
-AS

"Criminal" Live

There seems to be some sort of un-written law about 1 post per day on these blogs. I have a lot of stuff to share with the world, and a lot of free time, so I guess I'm on my way to becoming the hardest working man in blogging. Anyway, I have a ton of videos to post, so I'm freakin posting...This next one is a live performance by Peter Toh and The Royal Tease, that I filmed on June 17th, for Peter Toh's Record Release Show for his EP, "Shoes of a Beast". I have a crappy little home-video camera, with an awful mic, and it still sounds awesome! Stay tuned for plenty more live stuff from these guys, who are truly going to be the next BIG thing! Here's "Criminal" LIVE! By Peter Toh and The Royal Tease.

For more on Peter Toh check out www.petertoh.com or www.myspace.com/petertohmusic.
-AS

First Freakin Blog

I will try to post as much entertaining stuff as possible, mainly comedy and music, but other cool things will be thrown in. This first post is a video I made a couple of years ago, titled "The Fundamentals of Basketball". This was made from footage of our basketball team, which consisted of 9 long-time friends, 1 of whom didn't happen to have the best season in the world...It would be one thing if he was just a bad shooter, or poor on defense, but James Catusco is terrible at every facet of the game, and I'm here to show you, the viewing public.

This is my first blog ever, so bear with me, they will get better. Judging by the looks of this one, I can only go up. Word to your mother and father.
-AS